How charitable giving and hating people go hand in hand

So, we wait in anticipation for the first ever Bloggess Army charity drive to begin. If you aren't a follower of mine on twitter then you will have no idea what I am talking about so read this "And in Zion We Rejoice" #icantfuckingbelieveit , all of it. Then follow me here: Shameless self promotion.



I am not sure what Mayopie (the Bloggess Army leader) is planning so I will take some time to offer advice on charitable giving.

1. The receipt they give you is not so that if you are unhappy with your donation you can get your money back.


2. Monetary donations are tax deductions (I am not a tax lawyer and therefore really know nothing about tax law.) However, I should probably mention that if you are poor in the first place you should hold a charity drive for yourself before you donate to someone else. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure being broke isn't a good enough reason to hold a charity drive (unless you have a disease) or else I and millions of others would have tried to take your money already. I am broke. "Nuff" said.


3. At the expense of more nonsense about a subject I know almost nothing about go here: PrincessOfForks for good tips on making affordable donations from a good twitter friend of mine.

Now on to a topic I know something about: Hate...

As you can probably imagine there are a few people that hate me. It just so happens that one of 'em showed up at my house last night so that this morning you guys would have something interesting (I hope) to read.

I was on the phone with an old friend at 4am after a long night of drinking and being a complete heathen. In my debauched state my doorbell begins to ring incessantly so I'm all, "who the hell is gonna die tonight?" Throw on some jeans and run downstairs to see Someone from a long time ago parked outside with two of his "homies" ready to get angry and attempt to verbally abuse me. He's all, "you're a liar and a fake" and I'm all, "no." This is pretty much the only word I could pronounce after the night of shots, beers, and heathenizing. After a ridiculous drunken back and fourth so loud my neighbors neighbors would hear us from a few hundred of miles away (exaggeration.) he told me to admit he was a better man than I am and I said, "uhhhhh." Again you have to consider the stupor I was in coupled with the shock of this shit actually happening. Then I'm like, "fuck this" and proceed to ask, "what are you trying to accomplish?" He asks me what kind of person I am and I tell him a good one. He walks away, jumps in his car and drives off. No more words.

Conclusion: I win without saying one English word properly except the word no.

Lesson learned: You will win any fight if you wait long enough, are tired enough and pronounce everything so that no one understands a damn thing you say except no.

I wouldn't advise blogging about these sort of things like I just did because innevitably this will get back to him and he will get angry again and probably come and beat me up. He does know where I live (see I write for you and probably die for you which pretty much guarantees no matter how much of a fake or liar I am, I'm going to heaven.)

Glad I could be of service.